What a strange week it has been. Being stuck in the house with my family all day, every day has seen me coming face to face with the best parts of myself and the worst parts of myself daily.
The strong love that I have for my family, friends and community…
and then the anger that wells up so quickly inside me towards those who are recklessly putting others at risk.
The joy of laughing and learning and living with my kids…
and then the feelings of wanting to run and hide because I just want to be alone.
The warm feelings I get reading a story to my friends on social media…
and then the accompanying thoughts about how whiney my voice sounds or how weird I look on the screen.
The brave and noble feelings that I can face anything with courage and positivity…
and then the fear that consumes my mind when I’m falling asleep at night.
The hope that I feel when I see the world coming together to try to make the best of this whole thing, minute by minute, day by day…
and then then the realizations that I have friends who’ve lost jobs, that the economy will struggle to recover, that there will be mental and physical repercussions for all of us to face.
The creative energy that drives me to find ways to help others in this time, right now…
and then the fatigue that tells me to just snuggle up and wait this out like a bear in hibernation.
I was thinking last night about how I wish that my better self could be the present one more often, how I wish I could actually be that positive, strong, leader with endless love and boundless energy all the time. But then I let myself come face to face with that other self…the one that gets angry and scared and jealous and petty. And I realized that she will always be there. And she needs patience and love, too.
So for all of you out there, staying strong for your friends and families throughout this strange and unprecedented time: keep going. I see your generosity and your kind heart. I see your love and your hope. And it’s ok if you want me to see the other stuff, too: the hurt, the fear, the anger, the fatigue. We are humans in this together. And we will all grow and change and be different people when we come out on the other side of this. So let us be able to love and forgive and to hope and despair, together.