Quick Start Guide to Successfully Parenting Your Child with Executive Function Challenges
All children are different, but here are some almost universally applicable principals of parenting that can help make for a much smoother journey for you and your child.
1. Keep things simple and predictable.
Make minimalism your best friend. Organizing, arranging, and remembering “stuff” takes up so much mental space for a person with EF issues. Reduce as much clutter as you can, and maintain a simple, organized space. It really is worth the effort.
Limit the decisions that your children need to make on a daily basis. Decisions can be very taxing on executive function. You can create a stream-lined lifestyle and a rhythm to your days. It does not need to be an exact schedule but simply a flow that lets your kids know what to expect and when.
Limit the busyness. Don’t overtax your kids (nor yourself!) with more excess activities and relationships than they can manage.
Teach mindfulness principals, and create a daily time to practice being mindful (or meditative, prayerful, calm). https://www.mindfulschools.org/resources/explore-mindful-resources/
2. Keep it interesting and exciting. Yes, I know that this sounds like almost the exact opposite of the first point, but bear with me.
Within the boundaries of the simple, predictable rhythm you’ve set, make it fun! Most kids with AD/HD or EF challenges (though not all) love excitement. Plan fieldtrip Saturdays or craft-time Sundays.
Introduce new and exciting things into your child’s life regularly. Just make sure that your child is prepared for them and that the new opportunities are not overwhelming or overstimulating. Prepare your child for what they can expect by using a social story (https://carolgraysocialstories.com/social-stories/what-is-it/) or by showing them a picture of where you are going on the internet before-hand. Discuss what they can expect from the outing and what is expected from them. Be cognizant of your child’s limits and sensory needs.
Plan in plenty of time and space for movement, outdoor time, and creativity every day.
3. Work hard to understand your child and their perspective.
Learn all that you can about executive function issues and how they affect everyday life. Read books about it, attend workshops, and most importantly ask you child about their experience.
When in the middle of a frustrating or problematic experience with your child, take a step back to try and understand your child’s perspective. They are trying their best. Think about how EF challenges may be impacting them in the situation. LISTEN to you child, be patient, and forgive both your child and yourself when things don’t go as you’d hoped.